This wasn’t a post I planned however recently I noticed an article on my Facebook newsfeed regarding the importance of a good sleeping routine for our little ones and, of course I 100% agree with the fact that it is important for young ones to adopt a healthy sleeping pattern and we as parents should do what we can to try to encourage that, but in reality it’s not always so clear cut!
Now I’ll be honest I didn’t read the actual article but one of the comments written underneath caught my eye, a comment stating how this particular person has a good set routine which they rarely stray from … and honestly I say good for you, that really is great and I’m pleased for you, however it was what was said after that I have a problem with! The next few words that stuck with me, went on to say “I’d question the parenting” if a child wasn’t in bed by a certain time!
It made me wonder what on earth makes anyone think it’s okay to judge and look down on others, in this case parents, and think they have the right to ‘question’ anyone’s parenting when they have absolutely no idea of the ins and outs of the situation and what the parents, and child/children are going through! I know you’re always going to get comments like that on social media, it’s inevitable and I don’t usually let it bother me but that particular one I found frustrating! I wish people would be more considerate with what they write!
It hit a nerve with me because our little monkey has never been a good sleeper! Should our parenting be questioned because of that? Does that make us bad parents? No! Is any parent that child finds it difficult to settle and/or hard to sleep soundly a bad parent? Absolutely bloody not! What a ridiculous thing to say!
Freya developed silent reflux when she was only a few weeks old, this along with the colic meant it was extremely difficult to feed and settle her down to sleep, most nights we ended up taking it turns with her led on us because that was the only way any of us got any sleep whatsoever, many times I was crying along with her because it seems there was nothing I could do to comfort my baby girl. We did try our best to get her to bed at a ‘certain time’ but it just didn’t work!
Once the reflux and colic cleared up the problems with sleep remained despite us attempting to set a routine and despite us trying our best to help her adopt a better sleeping pattern.
It’s almost her 2nd Birthday and although her sleeping is a great deal better, There’s still phases where we seem to take a few steps back and she’s definitely not in bed by that certain time! The time that I suppose is considered the correct time! Every child is different and Ok so maybe there’s a few things we could have done better but at the time we done what we thought was best for us as a family, we found a way that worked for us and well… It’s our decision isn’t it? It’s what we found was best for us and our daughter, thankfully now she is easier to settle but just because we didn’t often manage to get her settled before 9pm, believe me we tried it doesn’t mean we’re bad parents.
As I said there’s still times now where Freya struggles to settle meaning bedtime is beyond 9pm but again that does not make us or any other parent in a similar situation a bad parent. Sometimes certain situations or occasions will mean bedtime maybe a bit later but we certainly don’t deserve to be questioned for that either!
I didn’t write this to shame or be spiteful, Maybe what was written was just worded wrong but it was a careless comment that didn’t need to be said and I’m just airing my views like they felt the need to air theirs!
I’ve found a lot of support from online communities and thankfully the love outweighs the negativity.
It shouldn’t be about Judging, questioning or looking down on, Offer support, give advice and be kind!
So to all the parents out there whose Children stick to a routine and sleep well, I honestly think that’s wonderful and you’re doing great, and to all the parents whose children don’t sleep all that well, and sometimes it’s a bit of a struggle you my friends are doing great too and don’t let anyone tell you any different!
My little Brushneen blog