Hello ladies and gents, how are you all? Very well I hope. I’m back today with a bit of a rambly post, I feel the urge to get my thoughts out, share some of my musings and in doing so hopefully release some of the anxieties and tension I seem to be holding onto at the moment.
I’ve not posted regularly for a while now but writing is something I do find very therapeutic and that is partly why I started my little blog as well as to share our adventures, experiences and interests.
To be completely honest I’ve been feeling quite down in the dumps lately. Anxiety has got the better of me a little and it’s really come to light in the past few days but thinking back I recognise that it’s more than likely been building up for while. When it flares up I tend to try and push it to the side and do my best to ignore it however it has been creeping up and up as it often does, making me feel a little bit rubbish really.
A couple of days ago I found It all a bit overwhelming and by the afternoon i ended up slumped on the bed in tears.
One piece of advice I will always give to friends, family or anyone going through tough times is to talk it through, don’t bottle it up and allow it to build up… however that’s the one piece of advice I can’t seem to actually follow myself! Bizarre I know. I’m definitely more open about the fact that I do live with anxiety yet during the tougher times I’m still reluctant to let on.
It’s not unusual to go through ups and downs and I suppose there’s a few things that’s been going on that may have contributed to me feeling a little more stressed but there doesn’t always have to be a reason, sometimes it just happens. A generalised anxiety disorder is unpredictable and sometimes I don’t even know where to begin when explaining how I’m feeling.
If you follow me on my socials you’ll already know that me and Mr Brushneen got married back in June and it was amazing, truly everything we’d ever wanted it to be. It was such a happy time and I think part of my reluctance to open up a little more to those around me at the moment is because I’m worried people may feel like I wasn’t happy or that I’m being ungrateful or they maybe won’t understand because I have so much to be thankful for, and I really am. I’m generally a happy person and i’m so incredibly grateful for many things, the anxiety doesn’t change that. Even writing this I feel I have to put some kind of disclaimer to state I’m not looking for sympathy it’s just how I’m feeling…. My anxious mind looks into things way more than I probably should. I know that.
Another thing that certainly doesn’t help is I’m not very good at self care!
I’m not just talking pamper evenings, weekends away or spa days, although they of course would be lovely, it’s also little habits I need to change that combined I’m sure would make a huge difference to how I’m feeling. For example… I’m terrible for often skipping breakfast because after I’ve sorted out little one I’ll start on the house chores or prioritise other errands and by the time that’s done I either can’t be bothered or it’s getting on for lunchtime so I may as well wait. I really don’t drink enough water, my skincare is basically non existent which is ridiculous because as well as working within the beauty industry, trying out new products is something i really love to do! I worry way too much about silly little things, my diet could definitely be alot better and I most definitely should exercise more! I get overwhelmed and I feel both mentally and physically drained.
I’m not very kind to myself and I know that alot of parents will relate ….actually alot of adults will relate regardless of whether you have kids or not. Life is busy right? Which is great but often it’s too easy to keep moving yourself down that list of priorities or too hard to say no to something that actually you really just don’t want to do! Alot of the time maybe we feel a little bit selfish if we give ourselves some down time, allow ourselves a treat or don’t tick off all the things on that to do list.
It goes without sayjng that little one will always be our top priority and of course I have absolutely no argument with that, she’s our absolute world and I’m so very proud to be her mummy but have you ever heard of the saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup”? I’ve seen it dotted about social media alot lately and it’s something that I wholeheartedly agree with. Something so simple but It really does make so much sence and captures exactly why it is so important to look after ourselves as well. We matter too. How can we be on top form and give our best to those we love if we’re neglecting ourselves?
(Image sourced from Google images)
It’s definitely something i need to work on and I may follow this up with a post on how exactly I’m going to do it. Do you practise self care? What do you do when you’re in need of some down time? Do you have any self care top tips? Let me know down in the comments, I’d love to hear from you.
We have got some exciting things coming up in September including little monkey starting preschool, my second BlogOn conference and some home decor plans which I absolutely can’t wait to get stuck into and I’ve a few ideas I’m working on for some upcoming posts. I’m super excited to get back to posting more regularly again.
If you’ve got this far, thank you so so much for reading, without meaning to sound soppy every view and every like really does mean so much.
Lots of love,